Showing posts with label Worries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worries. Show all posts

Monday, January 7, 2013

Studieskolen - Module 3.1, Irrational Incredulity

After a 3-week holiday break, I'm heading back to Danish class later this morning.

As I start module 3, I'll admit that I'm a little bit apprehensive.  For a few reasons:

First, this will be my first class with a different teacher.  The teacher that we had for modules 1 and 2 was really great, and I learned really easily through her teaching style.  I have this (mostly irrational) fear that I was only doing well in Danish before because her style of teaching worked for me.  There's no reason to worry about something like that, and in a few hours I'm sure I will decide that I was being silly.  But the worry is there nonetheless.

It should be noted that all of my apprehension is equally irrational, if not more so.  For example, I worry that I'm not as up-to-speed as I should be, despite easily passing the module 2 exam, and that makes no sense at all.  But we've all had that dream where we show up somewhere and are expected to know something, but don't.  So we're forced to fake it.  I have more experience having that stress dream than I do with being a Danish speaker, so some part of my brain expects that scenario.

See?  Irrational.

And then finally, there's this weird rewiring of my own concept of myself that needs to start happening.  Sure, I took Spanish in middle and high school, but I certainly didn't learn enough to consider myself bilingual.  Some insecure part of me thinks that there's a ceiling to the amount of any foreign language that I can learn and that I'm nearing that ceiling.  To expect myself to be fluent in any language other than English is simply not something I'd ever planned on, so I've never looked at myself as someone who would be able to do so.

Is it possibly to be irrationally incredulous?

Because I am.